21 Ways to be a Good Democrat
PT - December 15th, 2005 - 10:35 AM

21 Ways to Be a Good Democrat:

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity. (This one is really important)

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

9. You have to believe that outdoorsmen don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make The Passion of the Christ for financial gain only.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.

21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.

 

First of all, bush is also a liar, but he is the hero of America, right? At least when clinton lied, he didn't hurt any1 except himself and his family. When bush lied, he sent 2000+ American boys to thier death.

 

"to Be a Good Democrat" is that even possible??

 

To be a good Republican:

1. You have to be against government control but be for it telling a woman what she can and can't do with her body.

2. You have to believe that somehow gay marriage hurts people.

3. You have to believe that somehow tax breaks for the rich will somehow have a trickle down effect.

4. You believe in liberating countries only if they hold large oil reserves.

5. You LOVE China, but hate Cuba, hmmmm.

6. You feel whisper rumors are a good and virtuous campaign strategy.

7. You believe a dime sack of some marijuana deserves jail time, but revealing a CIA operatives should keep you in the president's cabinet.

8. You feel public education is part of the Communist agenda.

9. You think that in presidential elections the popular vote doesn't count.

10. You hate the immigrants crossing the border illegaly, but enjoy the fruits in the markets which they harvested.

11. You think building more jails will solve the crime problem.

12. The Peanut's teacher voice goes off in your head when someone states an opposing view.

13. You're all about war, but wouldn't encourage your own kids to join the military.

14. You have this idea in your head that Globalization of markets can truly benefit everyone.

15. You feel safer in your V8 or even V10 Sport Utility Vehicle.

16. The Ozone depletion doesn't bother you, because it's on a "cycle"

17. You have Rush Limbaugh as the your first radio pre-set.

18. Somehow you honestly believe Faux News is "fair and balanced."

19. You're a strong supporter of the anti-pot commercials, but laugh at the funny beer and alcohol advertisements and talk about them with your friends and coworkers.

20. You feel presidents pimpin it deserve to be impeached, but presidents who defy the U.N. and its procedures to have our troops slaughterd daily deserve reelection.

21. You think black males are out to steal your wives.

 

You forgot that republicans have to give up thier souls to join the republican party.

 

and their brains... lol.

 

Why is it that insulting republicans never gets old? Maybe cause there are so many good topics to choose from.

 

Well, I'd say that knife cuts both ways. Don't get me wrong, I'm about as liberal as sane people come (meaning I'm further left than your average democrat). Republicans probably give democrats at least as much crap as democrats give republicans, if not more. The only difference is, republicans act like democrats are actually f**king up the country and they're just trying to save it. [:'(] Give me a break.

Clinton was without question the best president we've had.

But democrats and republicans are both incredibly conservative anyway...

 

Hehe...just sent the Democrat one to my mom and dad. The Republican one got me laughing too, but I'm in the middle of the road on some issues so I wasn't that offended

And I'm so guilty of #19 for the Republicans--there's a great radio spot for Amstel Light going around right now. The "Great American Heroes" Bud ads always have me LMAO.

 

First off. By joing the military you are willing to give your life for your country. Bush didn't send anybody to their death. And about the WMDs, just because they never found them just doesnt mean they didn't exist. It's a freakin desert they can hide things anywhere. Also, I love how people always blame it solely on Bush. If you know anything about our gov't you'd know that the majority of Congress has to be fully behind Bush to go to war. The war was not meaningless. We overthrew a dictator that funded the 9/11 attacks on the United States, currently replacing its former gov't with a democracy, opening schools, and eliminating terrorist camps throughout the world. So, if you'd rather focus your attention on welfare ( not to mention over half the people who have it don't need it, there just to lazy to do any work) then go be a democrat. Also, the war is not about oil, because if we were there to take oil nows the time to do it. But no, gas is $2.20 a gallon and rising. We're also building a pipeline to get oil from Alaska, republicans have been trying to do that for years now but democrats have been against it. Finally we can drill there. Thats my opion.