I HAVE LOOKED AT THE DIAGRAM, THANK YOU.

which ones are power and ground pins for ecu?

also, i should have 12V somewhere on the ignition switch, right?

i have completely removed alarm, and am next to start testing everything. with alarm removed, nothing really changed. starter cranks, no start, oil/CE light are up. btw, also climate control buttons green lights are up. with the one before "crank" ignition key position, there's audible relay click coming from the dashboard, and those green lights go off. ??
also, when starter cranks, brake light comes up.

 

ok, here's what i found:
1. good news - i do have power on ignition switch.
2. i have alarm disconnected completely. every wire i could find. i have all ignition switch wires that were cut - yellow and white - connected back together and hot. no difference.
3. i do not have any power to ecu fuse. period. none. so, either a burnt fusible link somewhere or there's a kill switch tripped somewhere else that i do not know of. alarm had shake sensor too. might have kill switch somewhere either.
4. here's really bad news:



there are 2 lose wires left after alarm removal. green white and green orange or red, can't tell. both are hot with key in ON position. both, apparently, are coming out of factory harness - and connected to nothing. i can not find where they were supposed to be connected to or what they were cut from.
now, make things better, there's a green/red wire coming from the fuse box under the hood. has silver dots on it though. i can not tell if it's ecm fuse wire or not, even with that fuse box disassembled.
there is no power on yellow/blk wires on ecm either, i checked.
CAN I RUN 12v DIRECTLY TO ECM? OR TO ECM FUSE? and if yes, what color is the 12V power wire for that fuse?

5. what the heck is this:



as there was 4 wires plugged into it and it was in the alarm harness, but why i am so supiscious that it is a factory part just rerouted? i have seen it somewhere before...
ok, i looked it up, it's 30/40 amp relay. any ideas? some security system company sells those as MAS® POWER OEM
RELAY 30/40AMP

 

With the key on (position II) you should have power on all terminals of the ignition switch except the black wire with white stripe; that one goes to the starter so is only on in position (III). The two white wires should be the feeds from the battery / underhood fuse box. If you have power on those but not coming out of the switch, the switch is bad. I think the black with yellow stripe feeds the ignition and ECU, it should go right from the key switch to the dash fuse box where it feeds the ECU fuse.

This is all from memory, clearly you should consult a diagram of the entire car and check / restore it to a stock configuration. Don't go jumping power to different places hoping something will happen, something will for sure....

 

basically, i gave up on this.
car was bought for $2200, served well for 4 yrs, and paid for itself over in accident insurance $$.
we do not value her that much to go into tearing it apart completely to pull harness out and locate where those 2 wires are going to. we'll just sell it.
for general info, i managed to restore power back to ECU fuse. there still was no power down by the ECU plug. basically, i bypassed black/yellow power wire with jump wire from the fuse 0 pin. so, 12V was going through the fuse, just in case. NOTHING. only some relay clicks under the dash, and low oil pressure light.
that's when i gave up.
appreciate y'all's help. kid has a few yrs old scion, so he's in no pressure to fix this one. and he drives once a week maybe, works from home.

 

it’s kinda of disheartening to see you gave I’m running into the same issue in my 1998 civic that I’m working on with my father we took out the after market alarm sister everything that gets power but the distributor and I’ve changed all the same parts as you and nothing