Southernness


Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
_____

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
peas,
beans, etc., make up "a mess."
_____

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of
"yonder."
_____

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, ... as in:
"Going to
town, be back directly."
_____

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for
the
white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in
the
middle of the table.
_____

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use
the
term, but they know the concept well.
_____

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace
for a
neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big
bowl of
cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they
also
know to add a large banana puddin!
_____

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near"
and "a
right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1
mile or
20.
_____

Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a
redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
_____

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing
turn
signal is actually going to make a turn.
_____

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an
adverb.
_____

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when
we're
"in line," ... we talk to everybody!
_____

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
related, even if only by marriage.
_____

In the South, y'all is singular, .... all y'all is plural.
_____

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
_____

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are
perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and
that
fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
_____

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know
you are
in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
_____

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea
unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
_____

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart"
...
and go your own way.
_____

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:
Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the
morning. Bless your heart!
_____
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all
this
Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have
classes on Southernness as a second language!
_____

And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a
long
time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads
"I
ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
____

Bless your hearts, ... y'all have a blessed day.

 

Love it!

Not quite as funny, but if I may:

How to say 'I love you' in 27 languages.....




English
I Love You

Spanish
Te Amo

French
Je T'aime

German
lch Liebe Dich

Japanese
Ai ****e Imasu

Thai
Phom rak khun

Italian
Ti amo

Chinese
Wo Ai Ni

Swedish
Jag Alskar

Alabama
Arkansas
Kansas
Oklahoma
Texas
North Carolina
South Carolina
Georgia
Tennessee
Idaho
Missouri
Mississippi
Montana
Louisiana
Virginia
West Virginia
Kentucky
parts of Florida


Nice ***, Get in the truck

 

Word.

 

Nice post guys...

 

And you forgot Indiana.

 

eh there are parts of michigan like that too.

 

Thought it pretty funny myself.

 

[sm=exactly.gif] 75% of my high school drove trucks, 50% of them were bigger than anyone could ever need

 

yeah, sounds like my home town.