I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: Few nights ago last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "No honey I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the whole day to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a huge department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive clothes. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her I'd buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.




AHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHA right back in her FACE!...lol so great...

 

now i know not to eat some thing when i see a joke that was so funny i spat a bomb pop all over the place that was cool as hell great find [sm=lol.gif] and so true lol

 

Repost, but still funny.

 

HAHAHAHA
thats HELLA funny dude!!!!
it all seems so true!

 

haha great story....

 

I can even appreciate that story and I am a girlie. ROFLMAO hehehehehehehehehehe, started my day off with a smile anyway. Cheers for that, I'll know now not to start somethin am not gonna finish[sm=happy046.gif]

 

ive always loved that story.

 

See... it was almost funny, but then he said this:
That didn't ruin it. What ruined it was the fact that he had said:
Makes me think that he really IS as dumb as a brick. That's probably the stupidest statement that I have ever heard in my life. I think it's going to be my "Stupid quote of the month." Hell, I'd make it my sig if I could stop lauging for the two seconds it would take to paste it into the little box, but I can't.

 

Women who think sex is something a man does to a woman is a waste of time,dump her
women who say not tonight, already had it while you were at work earning her a living,dump her
women who say,can't you just hold me? want you to hold her while she thinks about the one she just had before you got there. dump her.
The prostitute says; "your'e the best I've ever had !
The girlfriend says ; "Was it good for you honey?
The wife says; "beige, I think I'll paint the ceiling beige. "

 

See? THAT was funny. It's so true, too! When I was engaged, I'd think about anything during sex except the actual act it's self. Now that I'm not.... it's a different story.