Cant live with em, cant live without them, and you cant kill em [:@]. Well I need some more point of views rather than my own. Ive been datin this girl for comin up on 9 months, Dec. 25th will be our one year. I am going away to a wedding in SC on Oct. 26th for several days. Her senior homecoming for the school is Oct. 27th. We havnt talked about it really besides texting because shes at school at the moment, and im near the point of insanity. My problem is I dont know weather or not she is going still or just wont go at all. The option of her going to the wedding is open, but she might need to take off a day or 2 from school, plus missing her senior homecoming. Id feel really uncomfortable if she went, and if she did im not %100 sure we would be making it to one year. The problem is I dont know what will be going on if she did go, because her last year homecoming when we werent dating and when she didnt have a boyfriend is pretty bothersome. Her past in general is bothersome. I need some point of views, im sure a lot of you have plenty women problems

 

If her past in general is bothersome, why stay with her. How old are you?
If I were you I'd let her do what she want's. If she f*cks up then let her go. Plenty fish in the sea.

 

Just have to trust her man. Seems like it would be tough considering her past, sounds like she was a little wild. You can't expect her to miss her homecoming or skipping school for a day or two.
If you trust her you shouldn't have a problem letting her go with a guy friend, and if you don't trust her then its time to rethink the relationship.

 

I'd say call and talk to her. Texting is no way to go about this bump in the road. First, I say that you got to let her do what she wants. Talk to her about her homecoming and how much it means to her, but than tell her how much it would mean to her that she comes to the wedding with you. Obviously this is a big issue with trust, and I have to ask if you have found anything that would leave you to believe that she would do anything to hurt you within the past 9 months?? If not, than if she decides to go to the homecoming than you should somewhat trust her. You say that her background is sketchy, but than why would you put yourself in a position of getting hurt by her. You guys are at that point in the relationship where it is either going to go uphill or downhill, but the important thing is you have to be ready for the ride in either direction. Is this really the person that you want to be with long-term? It's all stuff you have to ask yourself.
I will have to say if she doesnt want to go to the wedding, more than likely she is going to want to go to the homecoming... or else why would she stay... to stare at the walls in her room? Nope. But, if she sees that this is ONLY highschool, and the second you graduate you dont care ever again what happened in highschool, and she goes to the wedding that you guys will have a great time. I never met anyone that wouldnt want to take a couple days off to spend with their boyfriend/girlfriend.
One thing though, don't "force" her to go to the wedding. By that, I mean don't make her feel so bad about not wanting to go that she throws her hands up and says fine I will go because she will make you regret yourwedding trip in one way or another... probably by being a big party-pooper and upset the whole time.
At this point, I say your best bet is to talk about what it would mean for her to go to this homecoming, and what it would mean for her to join you as your date to the wedding. (Ya know you want to make it sound good like you really want her there and she will benifit by going).
See what that brings. And if she does stay home, you can bet that her friends will drag her to homecoming and she will do what she wants.Do you trust her? Well thats up to you, but if you don't trust her in the relationship at this point, I don't see why you are looking forward to the one year mark. Good luck man.

 

plain and simple if you don't have trust in the relationship it will never work this is coming from someone who's 40 years old and have been married going on 7 years. good luck bro

 

Thanks for all your replies, I am going to talk to her within 2 hours and find out what Im going to do. Another option came up, I could stay at her house for 4-5 days and miss the wedding and go to the stupid homecoming thing that I hate doing because its all rap and everyone dances like they have a load in their pants. Anyway, its not the fact I dont trust her, its the fact that im insecure, because of the fact in a past relationship after dating someone for over a year she cheated on me with an 18 year old when at the time she was...14? Yea smart idea. Which the 18 year old ended up cheating on her with 2 other girls, so what goes around comes around huh. So now my guard is higher than it used to be, which kind of pushes a lot of stuff away, how she always hates being compared to her. Which I dont do, we just talk about it and she puts words in my mouth. She has made alot of comitments to me and ive done the same. And yea I do want to be with her in the long run, she regrets a lot of things shes done and shes the type of person who just wanted someone to love her back in the day, and now she says she has that with me. A lot of stuff I could say to give you guys a little more detail and point of view but id be writing a novel. The first thing im going to do is say, if I go to this wedding would you be going to homecoming still, and would you be going with someone else. And if she answers, no, i wouldnt be going. Then I might talk to her a little more to beat around the bush. Then ill say, well the other option is me staying at your house for 4-5 days and going to the homecoming thing, which I am doing for you. So we will see what will happen and what her words will be about her going to the homecoming with someone else. If she says yea she would go with someone else and say that she wouldnt be dancing with anyone or bring up some bullsh** story then ill say, well I dont think we are going to make it to one year. And I would probly end up kicking her to the curb, as much as it would hurt to say. Thanks for the replies, helped

 

Well, talked with her. Didnt go over so well. If I cant stay at her place for 3-4 nights and end up going to this stupid thing then she said she was still going to go, not with a date, with her friends. And dance, with her friends. To me...it seems like something that is literally impossible when more than average of the population is man. "It means so much to me and Im just so confused I want to go" blah blah girl talk about nails and whatnot. "Girls like to dress up, I really want to go with you and im freaking out". My problem is...even if she did give me her word, and it is senior year and more than half the people already have dates and/or relationships, it doesnt matter. Im going to have a problem coming back from this wedding if I go and seeing her, thinking if she did or didnt do anything. I feel she will look completely different to me and I dont know how to get it off my chest. She has a "I want/need" problem, but what women dont. I dont really know what to do or what to tell her, I told her the way I felt about the situation and shes going to ask her parents if I could stay a couple nights. If it doesnt happen then....could be the end of it, and she said it would be a retarded thing I would regret to end the relationship because she went to homecoming. Yea, shes right. But I cant help the way im feeling about things[&:]

 

 

I think there is a problem when something as small as a homecoming dance is enough to break up your relationship. Also, whose wedding is it? I've been to plenty of weddings where if I wasn't there, nobody would have noticed.

 

Youre kidding right? Youre in highschool and in a relationship of 9 months. Are you getting married? Its an infactuation my friend. Youre sitting around worryin about stuff that wont matter in 2 years. Go to the wedding and get drunk, have fun and forget about your girlfriend. If its meant to be, it will find a way. Youre insecure because your 14 year old gf cheated on you? You were in what like 8th grade? How
traumatizing! Why dont you just lock her in a cage, this way you never have to worry about her doing anything? You say its not that you cant trust her, but it IS. If you could trust her she could go out with 2 of her guy friends and youd be cool with it. Jeez.....I can only imagine what youre going to be like when youre 21, IF you have a gf.........she wants to go to the bar with her friends and you cant stand for it........Girls will be turned off by this over-protective/insecure/lack of trust issue you have. Get over it. Go to the wedding, have her cook you a steak when you get back, do the wild thing, and its done and over with. -Dr Pete.