with all of 2000 low red SIs jokes i thought we should have a dedicated joke thread. well i start of with a few...

why did the hippy drown?







cause he was too far out.


why did the blonde nurse bring a red marker to work?






incase she needed to draw blood

 

Too bad we didnt think of this joke thread before I posted a bunch of different threads for each joke. Oh well, there will be more to come!

Great idea!

 

hehe maybe we could have a joke thread as one of the main threads?

 

i know my jokes are weak but come on... lets keep this thread alive

what kind of bees give milk?





boobies.

why was the tomato blushing?





cause he saw the salad dressing.

 

Here's one for adelleda:

Why did the gingerbread man go to the hospital?









Because he was feeling crummy!

 

whats the difference between michael jackson and acne?





acne doesnt come on a boys face till hes 13

why dont ant eaters get sick?




cause theyre fill of antybodies

 

thats a good one ngoti8or
keep em coming

 

Here's the one I get all the time at work

Are you in a hurry?


Than why are you russian?

 

this joke is not to meant to offend, i heard it at work the other day.

Why do women like to have white weddings?










So the dishwasher can match the fridge and stove.

 

i came across this. i thought it was funny.

A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is
installing new "Drive-through" teller machines. Customers will be able
to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable customers
to use this new facility the following procedures have been drawn up.
Please read the procedure that applies to your own circumstances, MALE
or FEMALE, and remember them when you use the machine for the first
time."

MALE PROCEDURE

1 Drive up to the cash machine.

2 Put down your car window.

3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5 Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6 Put window up

7 Drive off


FEMALE PROCEDURE

1 Drive up to cash machine

2 Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window
to machine

3 Set parking Brake, put the window down

4 Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to
locate card

5 Turn the radio down

6 Attempt to insert card into machine

7 Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its
excessive distance from the car

8 Insert card

9 Reinsert card the right way up

10 Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on
the inside back page

11 Enter PIN.

12 Press cancel and reenter correct PIN.

13 Enter amount of cash required

14 Check make up in rear view mirror

15 Retrieve cash and receipt

16 Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside

17 Place receipt in back of checkbook

18 Recheck make-up again

19 Drive forward 2 feet

20 Reverse back to cash machine

21 Retrieve card

22 Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into
the slot provided

23 Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male
driver queuing behind

24 Restart stalled engine and pull off

25 Drive for 2 to 3 miles

26 Release Parking Brake