The Perfect Joke

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met.
They were a perfect match and after a perfect courtship they had a perfect wedding.
Their life together was perfect.
One snowy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple were driving their perfect car along a winding road when they noticed someone up ahead in distress.
Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.
There stood an honest politician next to his broken down car.
The honest politician told the perfect couple that he was desparately trying to get home to his young family with all their Christmas presents.
Not wanting to disappoint children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded the honest politician and his gifts into their car. Soon they were driving the honest politician and his gifts home to his young family.
Unfortunately, driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and the honest politician were in a terrible accident.
Only one of the three survived.
Who was the lone survivor?
(scroll down for the answer)
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Did you guess the honest politician?
Wrong!
Did you guess the perfect man?
Wrong!
Did you guess the perfect woman?
Correct!
The perfect woman was the only one to survive as she was the only one to really exist in the first place. Everyone knows there is no such thing as an honest politician or a perfect man.
Ok, the joke is now done, if you're a woman, go look at another thread. If, and only if you are a guy, keep scrolling down.
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If there was no honest politician or perfect man, that means the prefect woman was driving which explains why there was an accident!
Oh, and if you are a woman reading this, it illustrates another point: women never follow instructions.

 

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

 

How are women and tornadoes alike?

They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

 

This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionallism goes right out the window...

He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.

"Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor?

"Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies.

He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off. The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, "Do you know what I am doing now?", she replies, "Yes, checking for cancer."

Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table, gets on top of her and starts having sex with her. He says to her, "Do you know what I am doing now?"

She replies, "Yes, getting herpies - thats why I am here!"

 

why did the chicken cross the road?
















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