Today is one of the saddest evenings my emo *** has had in a while. I've been going through old photos, old files, stuff that I've been transfering from hard-drive to hard-drive for 15 years now...26 gigs worth of stuff with nothing that I'd want to erase. Reconciliation of life in a way. I can see things I've lost over the years, ways in which I changed, people I am no longer friends with, class from which I never graduated, childhood friends whom I will never see again.

I used to keep a diary as funny as it sounds I'm glad I did it. I had no idea how selective memory can be. I realized how much I have forgotten after reading it. These are mostly pleasant memories and it's funny how I don't remember any of it. All I remember are the bad things that have happened over those years.

I'm now all emo and soft...damnit, I hate myself when this happens... can someone throw a brick at the hood of my car so I can get mad?

 

Just let me know where and when you park during the evening....j/k

I know what you mean, I did that a few years ago...and i'm only 20, life is short and long at the same time. it's a pity.

 

Dude get the sand outta the vag. Just playing. I can't wait til i look back. I'm only 21 so it hasn't hit me yet.

 

I can call James and tell him Kool Aid and KFC are BOTH going out of business. He'd be all angry, maybe he'll throw a brick

 

will a baseball bat do? I'll be over in about 4 hours.

Don't worry though... everyone does it. Hell, I get in those depressing nostalgic moods where I think about how things might've turned out if I'd have said this, done that, not done that, etc all the time.

 

It's different when you go back to things that you have control over...my life was full of major events that I had no control over...and I realize it all too late.

 

That would be cruelty to animals.

 

So now what are you going to do about it?

 

At this point there's nothing I can do. I'm a grownup now and nobody can make descisions for me anymore. I'm still stuck with the consequences though. Nothing I can do about it now.

 

Sounds painful. How have you maintained a sense of humor? Or is it a defense mechanism?