For those who love the philosophy of hypocrisy and ambiguity....

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....

3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

10. Is there another word for synonym?

11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to start speaking?

19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

25. How is it possible to have a civil war?

26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?

27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?

30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?

31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?

34. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?

~Amanda

 

lol very good

 

Bravo, Amanda. Bravo. Those are the kinds of questions that really need answering in the world . Oh, and while I'm on this thread, is there any way for you to remove that block that only allows you to post so fast? I understand why it's been implemented, but I was wondering if it has to be applied to everyone, or if it can be removed from some members... I find myself being hampered by it quite frequently. If not, then that's all fine and good, but if there is a possibility...

 

I'll try my best:

4. We need something to re-evolve when humans destroy themselves....
7. ......
8. If he swears in sign language, then I suppose so.
9. You would think so, wouldn't you.
10. Probably.
11. The suburbs?
12. Scare the animal away, so that the plant will regrow.
13. I guess so.
14. No.
15. Who knows. I never use 'em anyway.
16. Both.
17. Yes.
18. No.
19. That is a very interesting question. Good point, I never noticed that.
20. They don't.
21. Good question.
23. I think she just wears a bikini top. Haven't seen her in a while though.
24. We enjoy aldultery?
25. Good point.
26. Only if the others are all blonde
27. Doubt it.
28. You have failed trying to failing by succeeding. I think....
29. Good question.
30. Hahaha.
31. Who says? Hehe.....
32. Good question.
33. Probably.
34. Good question.

Those are my answers that were just the first thing to pop into my head. Enjoy.

 

LOL thats pretty funny.

 

XCM, u r truley one of the great thinkers of our time. lol

 

hehe thanks.

 

Hahahahahaha!! Cute... good thinking!!

~Amanda

 

a lot of good points that i have never pondered.

time to get out the buddah statue and reflect