Okay so I've dated this girl for a little over a year now. And unlike most relationships, my girlfriends have to adapt to me having cystic fibrosis and the things that entail with it. Before this girlfriend, I dated a girl named Ashley. The first time I got really truly sick, she was there for me like no other. I was home bound for over two months, with no friends to talk to since they were all at school and sat at home all alone. Ashley and I would text each other because thats the only person I could talk to, and we were extremely close. You get really close to someone when you have to rely on them for so much, and she really was like a missing half of me. We seperated due to differences, and I jumped into this new relationship pretty quick. The feelings never really went away for Ashley because of how close we were and as seeing she was my "first love" and all. So now that the hard feelings of breaking up are gone, me and ashley have talked a little and want to be friends. My new girlfriend hates this, and even though I just want to be friends with her and talk to her every once in a while and MAYBE hang out she has a big problem with it and thinks I should just totally try and block this girl out of my life. I still love Ashley in a way that will always be more than a friend, but don't really think we would ever get into a relationship again. My new girlfriend is great and has done the same for me and more than Ashley has.....im torn between the two because its like two great friends, and im having to choose between them...except its not friends, and is dealing with my heart. Im really torn and feeling down so I figured i'd turn to my 2000+ friends to see what they thought

 

seems like you're going through what i was going through. It really does sucks having these things going through your head. Sorry cant really help you here man. In the end, its all up to you.

 

you know, I would take a friend over a gf any day, but from the sounds of it it would be more than a friend to you...I don't know what to say really.

 

ya man, i would ditch the girlfriend you have...if she really understood you she would understand and accept that your friend ashley is JUST a really good friend, and that you "love" your girlfirend and you would never do anything with ashley that would effect your relationship with your current girlfriend, tell her that...and if shes a good one she should understand that and accept it

 

Idk if I can, she stormed out saying she hated me and I was the worst....not the things that make a guy mad, but the ones that make you feel like crap really deep down..

 

just ask yourself, whats the worst that could happen in every situation? then pick the worst one. If you tell your GF that cutting Ashley out of your life is not an option, and she breaks up with you, But you still have Ashleys friendship. Or you give in, and you cut ties with Ashley, but your GF is happier (and if this is the case, and down the road your GF dumps you, will Ashley forgive you?). I know you know this, and dont really want to admit it to yourself, but it really comes down to who can you live without more? and if it were me, I would also put a lot of thought into the ramifications of giving in to the GF on this. Is she very controlling? Is she going to do this with any girls you might be/become friends with? None of us know the situation as well as you do, and none of us have any stake in it. all of our answers are going to be biased from our past experiences, and probably wont apply to your particular situation. That said, Im betting you know what you want to do, you just want it reinforced here. Good luck, I hope my ramblings can bring some of it to light for you.

 

yea i would say that having a friend is better. you never now what will happen with a girlfriend.
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Child Avandia

 

Sacicons...great advice!! I even feel better now, lol.

Ben, Sacicons basically broke it down for ya...really pay attention to the part about ur new g/f being controlling (not saying she is), u just don't wanna be in that position in a relationship

 

Just let your girlfriend know how you really feel about her and how she should trust you. A relationship isnt good if there is no trust between the two of you.

 

I think that it really deals on you and how you handle them.If like your girlfriend sees everytime you talk or see your ex you seem distance and treating her like a sister instead of your girlfriend then she has a good reason.Its like you would be giving 65% of your mind and soul to the girlfriend and 35%to the ex.seems like your girlfriends wants to have all and not have a percent shared with a ex.Its your life and which ever one you truly want to spend your time with is who you should spend your time with cause I or you could die at any time.How would you feel if your girlfriend stared hangin with her ex?