Let me preface this by saying that I've never dated before--I've always been pretty mature for my age and never really cared to date in school since I knew it wouldn't go anywhere and I was too busy with advanced courses and such. Anyway, that was probably a mistake because I'm utterly helpless now!

I've come across a guy at church who I really like. We talk every now and then, but we really don't have any common friends so it's difficult to go right up and talk to him. We did go out "as friends" last week, and he's a really nice guy. He is single at the moment, AFAIK, but has recently come out of two relationships (one girl got married while he was away and the other suggested they see "other people") and might still be hurting from that. I'm just getting frustrated because I'm not a bold person and it really isn't my personality to go up to guys and start a conversation (my step dad kind of made me scared of men).

I've tried all the subtle tricks to let him know I'm interested, but he's just not getting it. I've been told this is common. So, is my last resort to ask him out myself? I've talked to him enough to break the ice, but is it in bad taste for the girl to ask the guy out? If it isn't, how do I do it and not look like a retard? I'm pretty sure he wouldn't say no. And do guys get scared away when they figure out a girl likes them? Should I make it a double date with one of my friends (who has an ever-present supply of boyfriends)?

And any ideas for fun and easy dates? He really likes theater but that's so durn expensive.

Thanks for any help, I know that was a novel! I kind of need a guy's perspective here.

 

Just ask him out, I mean what could it hurt. If you really like him just do it. If he says no then oh well not a big deal.

 

I agree with MD

 

Alright...

Is it bad taste for a girl to ask a guy out?.. Not at all, it's actually kind of flattering.

Do guys get scared away when they figure out a girl likes them?.. Probably not, once again, it's nice to know you're wanted.

Fun easy dates?.. Something he's never done before. Ummm...I have no idea, you'll find something.

So yeah, I say ask him out, and if you can't work up the nerve just keep dropping hints, just flirt it up a bit and see what happens.

Edit, here's some date ideas:

Mini Golf (if it's warm enough there)
Go Karts
$1 movies (if you have one of thost theaters)
Drive in Movie (awesome but again, weather)
Sledding is always fun... I have no idea where you live so...
Bingo!.. really good way to sit and talk and still have fun
Get a couple disposable cameras and wander around and see what you find

Ok, and here's one of my favorite dates I've ever been on... Volunteering at an animal shelter. We took like 10 or so dogs (two at a time) out for walks then gave them baths, it was a good time. And it's completely free and you'll feel good about yourself.

 

Guys are easy to please. And yes, most guys biggest dreams are for a chick to ask them out. Theres nothing that feels better to a guy than knowing hes wanted.

Also, look at it this way: Ive been a guy for 20 1/2 years and ive generally found I dont hang out or go out for that matter with chicks if I am not already interested in them. A lot of females think that the guy hanging out with a female is just friends (unless they have been life long friends) but Im telling you, most guys are always looking and dont even think that he hasnt already thought about you in that way.

Go for it, youll get positive results. I promise.

 

Thanks, you guys are the best!

Now I just have to figure out a good date. Too bad I'll be away this weekend

 

Oh btw... double dates as far as I know of is a real big turn off.

 

I just posted some ideas above.

And I'm with Remmy, keep it one on one!

 

The reason why I said that, if you double date and the date is not all happy go lucky or you guys get bored, you and your friend or the guy and his friend are going to turn around and talk to each other singling you guys out... get my drift? Its also Uber awkward because you cant get into certain conversations like you can 1 on 1

 

ok..let me tell you something from a different standpoint. i am current involved with what i consider to be, the woman of my dreams. weve been living together for over a year now, and have known each other for a few years. i was alwys very attracted to her, but i never had the brass to say anything, as i considered her to be out of my league...once things got moving,it turns out that she had been interested in me for a long time, but she didnt want to approach me...she tried lots of sublte things, which she has since pointed out, and they now make sense, but just so you know, guys dont do "subtle"...

maybe this guy "likes you" back...be casual, and be yourself, and ask him if he wants to do something sometime...what do you two talk about, when you talk? maybe bait him a bit..talk about something that interests you, like a movie..and based on his reaction, maybe let that lead into you asking if he wants to go see it sometime...

how old are the two of you?

and btw, double dates are a no-no...