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  #1  
Old 03-19-2010, 05:51 PM
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Default College Writing Paper

this is all i got so far, im gonna go over waxing, polishing, and detailing.. any suggestions on how to improve what i got so far?

Joshua Trafinchick

ENG 161-20: College Writing


Instructor: Christine Schaeffer


Citing Sources: Descriptive Essay


Due Date: March 1, 2010


Perfecting an automobile paint job!


Have you ever washed your car only to find marks on it again. You spend hours washing your car and waxing it only to find that there are little scratches on the paint and there is always a bunch of swirl marks. Swirl marks are tiny scratches in the clear coat of your automobiles paint that are caused from washing and waxing. They may be un noticeable when you are drying the vehicle but later on as you look from the side, you will see the swirl marks and it gives your paint job a dull appearance. There are many steps to cleaning the exterior of an automobile such as removing tar and road debris, washing all contaminates off of the vehicle, claybaring, waxing, and polishing the external surfaces. As stated by The Brunei Times, just by cleaning your car, you can add hundreds of pounds to its value when you're looking at selling; a day's effort will certainly be time well spent, and need not cost the earth (Good looks can raise used car's value).


First, you are going to wash the car. Using chemicals like bug and tar remover will help ease the process of removing debris from the outside of the vehicle. You will want to start from the top and work your way down. One rule to washing a car is that you must never let the soap dry. The best way to prevent that from happening is to wash one area at a time. Start out by fully soaking the automobile in water. Have a bucket handy and fill it with water mixed with your car wash solution. Use a soft sponge or micro fiber cloth to apply the soapy solution to the vehicle. After applying the soap to the roof of the car, rinse it off. Keep repeating this step untill the whole vehicle has been scrubbed clean. Dry the car off with a shammy towel and prepare for the more detailed work.


Your automobile may be clean to the eye but hiding on the clear coat is tiny particles which can cause oxidation to your vehicles finish if left alone. To remove these contaminates, you will want apply a rubbing or polishing compound to the exterior of the vehicle. These compounds range in prices and can be found in your local parts stores, convenience stores, and large retailers such as Walmart and K-mart. Smear the compound on the surface area around 2x2 feet with a soft micro fiber cloth. Doing this will prevent the compound from drying to much and giving you a rough time coming off. After a few minutes, the compound should turn a light hazy color. This means that it is almost dry and that is where you will want to begin to remove it. Put a new polishing pad on your rotary buffer and turn it on. Gently apply the buffer to the vehicles finish and rock back and forth in a sweeping motion untill the light haze has been rubbed off and turns to a shine. Be sure not to hold it in one spot too long because it can damage your finish and cause swirl marks. After all of the polish has been removed, start on the next small area and repeat until the entire vehicle has been polished.


Now that your paint job is shinier than Paul Wall’s grill, you will want to wax it.



Sources


“Good looks can raise used car's value” The Brunei Times, 2007. Web.
19 Mar, 2010.
 
  #2  
Old 03-19-2010, 06:13 PM
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How about using question marks when you're asking a question? Or using more correct grammar.

One thing is.
Two or more things are.

(Sorry, I have a Bachelor of Arts in Writing.)

You might want to compare waxes as well. Maybe even go into clay barring to get rid of every little swirl.
 
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Old 03-19-2010, 06:25 PM
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wow. you're in college? What's your major? I'm sorry but I could've written something better in intermediate school. Not to be a jerk, but you really need to improve your vocabulary and grammar. Words like smear really kill the effect. Your last sentence is atrocious and completely inappropriate for an essay. If you were giving a speech and wanted to go for some lulz, fine, but not in the essay. Additionally, if you're going to write a paper on something, make sure the information is correct. Goodness, I don't have the time to critique your actual content. Detailing has many more steps to it than what you've got. Like Brad said, use a claybar, do NOT go right to rubbing compound. A claybar traps and holds the road contaminants where compound may not get it outor it may come out and run over the paint. Also, don't use a soft sponge or microfiber to wash the car. They themselves create micro scratches. Use a wool mit preferably. Also, if you're writing this to someone who doesn't know what they're doing, they wont know what a rotary buffer is, nor should they use one. If used incorrectly, you can burn paint and trim. There are different pads for everything. There's wheel and tires cleaner, there's different waxes and sealants, not to mention interior products. What about metal polish or tips for creating swirl free windows? Sorry champ, it'd be a good rough draft, but it's far from perfect IMO
 
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Old 03-19-2010, 07:42 PM
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this was due almost a month ago?
 
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Old 03-19-2010, 08:29 PM
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Automobiles is a plural noun; automobile's is a possessive noun.

A question mark denotes a question (read a sentence out loud; if your voice raises in pitch at the end of the sentence you're either a 14-year old girl or the sentence ends in a question mark).

Unnoticeable is one word.

; <---- that is a semicolon. It links two related independent clauses together to form a single sentence; use them to avoid multiple short sentences relating to the same thing. (See what I did there?) Please, only use one semicolon per sentence.

As Brad pointed out, is is singular, are is plural.

As Trent pointed out, among other things, your conclusion is horribly inappropriate.

Is this really an essay? It's three paragraphs and can't take up more than a page, even if double spaced.

Assuming that quote is a direct quote, it should either have quotation marks or be italicized.

Microsoft word. If you don't have it, get it; it will pick up on most of the mistakes I've pointed out.




If you'd like, I can keep going; I was a copy-editor for four years in high school journalism. Actually, my journalism/senior English teacher was extremely disappointed when I decided not to go to college for anything writing-related.
 
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Old 03-19-2010, 10:11 PM
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Trafinchick? :|
 
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Old 03-19-2010, 11:45 PM
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its no where near done, i diddnt get into waxing, claybaring, polishing and detailing yet. its 1 1/2 pages long so far. it has to be 3-5 pages long. i used microsoft word but diddnt run the grammar check yet. The teacher specifacly said she dont want a professional essay, she wants to see what we know. i just copyd and pasted the top section from my last essay, i forgot to change the due date.
 
  #8  
Old 03-20-2010, 12:40 AM
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lol you would have NEVER passed the comm1 class I had freshman year. If you make 2 mistakes he doesn't accept your paper.

and 'copyd' isn't a word.


Good luck...
 

Last edited by trustdestruction; 03-20-2010 at 12:43 AM.
  #9  
Old 03-20-2010, 06:25 AM
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Originally Posted by supersize
its 1 1/2 pages long so far. it has to be 3-5 pages long.
Well, having six separate lines with two empty lines between each at the beginning and counting your source(s) cited definitely helps. It's under a page if you're just counting the essay.

*edit: I'm with stu. Good luck.
 
  #10  
Old 03-20-2010, 05:01 PM
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the sources dont count as a page, and i copyd and pasted and here and the format diddnt stick, its doublespaced times new roman 12pt.
 


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