Being that I'm returning to being an instructor, let's hear them. I need a refresher on what to expect

In my case back in college it went like this:

Professor yelling out the window: "Gene, are you coming to class?"
Me, sunbathing on the roof on my van in the parkign lot: "No, I ain't coming today, I'm still to pale to fit in"

 

Well this was like 10th grade, but a teacher I really hated (everyone hated) told me to stop talking and for the strangest reason I said "you stop talking."
She didn't really do anything.

 

I told my shop teacher to shove a welding rod up his *** cause he made me put a cig out.

 

IDK, all my professors barely speak english, so even if I did insult one of them, they wouldn't understand. i guess that's one of the perks of being a science/math major.

 

Geek...

 

No, I sometimes feel like a dumbass next to most of my classmates. engineering=

 

I had a philosophy professor ask me what I was doing after classes, and I answered "someone else".

 

What will you be teaching and where will you do it?

 

I'll be teaching Microsoft Office (damn is this subject boring or what!) at All State Career. I used to do it full time there for a few years, and now coming back as a part timer to pay for more goodies for the car and the bike.

 

Do you exploit your sense of humor to enhance your teaching in the class room?