how can you tell when a blonde girl has a blonde boyfriend?









she has a bruised belly button.

 

A classic!

 

Hell yeah, i love that joke.

 

I'm lovin it more each time I read it.

 

alright, heres another i just got in my e-mail..


A Mexican drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air pulls out his
pistol and shoots the glass to pieces. He says "In Mexico our glasses are so
cheap we don't need to drink from he same glass twice". An Iraqi, obviously
impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air and pulls out
his AK-47 and shoots the glass to pieces. He says "In Iraq we have so much sand
to make glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either."
The Kentucky boy, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws
his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the Mexican and the Iraqi
and catches his glass. He says, "In America we have so many Mexicans and Arabs
that we don't have to drink with the same ones again....



DISCLAIMER! In no way shape or form am i a racist of any kind, please understand that posting this joke is all in good fun.

 

this isnt really a joke, but i think that it is very funny

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said, "NO!" And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing, hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and farted whenever he wanted.

THE END

 

Good stuff guys... kinda long but well worth it...

A millionaire decides to have a house party in his backyard. He invites everyone in the neighborhood including an oil-rich hillbilly, Leroy. Well everyone is having a good time and Leroy is dancing, drinking, and flirting with all the ladies when the millionaire calls everyone's attention. "In my pool over there I have a 12 foot crocodile. I'll give a million dollars to the first person who dives in the pool with him." Before he was even finished with his sentence everyone hears a loud splash and sees Leroy in the pool wrestling the croc. Leroy is screaming and shouting, biting the croc's tail, gouging his eyes with his thumbs, and swinging the croc around by the tail like a judo instructor. Finally to everyone's amazement, Leroy strangles the croc and it's floating belly up in the pool. Leroy emerges from the pool drenched and out of breath with everyone simply astonished at what they just saw. Still shocked, the millionaire says, "Well Leroy, I guess I owe you a million dollars." Leroy says, "Nope, don't want it." "Well how about half a million." "No thanks." replies Leroy. "How about a Porsche and a Rolex then?" says the now baffled millionaire. "Not interested.", replies Leroy. "Well Leroy, what do you want?" asks the millionaire. "I want the name of the dirty dog scoundrel who pushed me in the pool."

 

I went to a full service station the other day and asked for 5 bucks worth of gas.

The guy farted took my money and walked away.

 

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and answers the door, where a drunken stranger standing in the pouring rain is asking for a push.

"Not a chance," says the husband. "It's 3 o'clock in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunken guy asking for a push," he answers.

"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not. It's three in the morning and it is pouring outside!"

"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him. You should be ashamed of yourself."

The man feels guilty, so he gets dressed and goes out in the pouring rain.

He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?"
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing!" replied the drunk.