Post your favorite jokes here....so I think that we should have a thread for some good jokes... and keep it somewhat clean....I'll start...


A rich man and a poor man were discussing what they gave their wives for their anniversary.

The rich man says, "I bought my wife a diamond necklace and a Mercedes Benz."

Poor man asks, "Why did you buy her two gifts?"

The rich man replies, "Well, in case she doesn't like the diamond necklace, she can drive her Mercedes Benz to take it back."

The poor man acknowledges the rich man's answer then proceeds to tell him what he got his wife. "I got my wife a pair of flip flops and a *****."

With a confused and intrigued look, the rich man asks, "Why did you buy her those gifts?!"

The poor man replies, "Well, in case she doesn't like the flip flops, she can go f*ck herself."

 

oh and no racist jokes please....

This old man and woman were sitting at the breakfast table on the morning of their 50th anniversary.
The mans says "Honey, do you remember what we were doing at this exact momemt 50 years ago?"
To which she replied "Yes dear, we were sitting here naked eating breakfast."
He looks at her and says,"So how ’bout it".
And she said "ok"....so they strip naked and are eating their breakfast when all of a sudden the woman goes "Damn, after all these years you still make my nipples hot"
Her husband replies "Thats cuz one is in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal"

 

umm let me make this clear..Post your favorite jokes here.... no chatting only jokes and no racist jokes please....

 

So a guy in a wheelchair walks in a bar...(insert joke drums here)