It's called tough love when you lay it on the line like it is. Drugs or friendship,not both. I have a step daughter thatis like that with alcohol, can't do anything but drink. She has to want to help herself before anybody else can help her. Same thing with drugs

 

I know exactly how you feel.
A few years ago, I was into drugs and getting high on something nearly every day. And when I was doing that, like most people in that situation, I structured my friendships around people who had drugs or with whom I could get high. When the time came that I just couldn't take getting wasted and being utterly depressed anymore, I had to leave quite a few friendships behind. I was really very close with one or to of those people, but to get myself squared away, I just couldn't be around them or in those environments anymore. I still run into them and when I see them, I feel bad for them and wish I could help them. But then I realize that they're just as baffled by my sobriety and betrayed by my absesnse as I am baffled about their addictions and their continued indulgence. I'm thinking, "Man, how can you keep getting f---ed up all the time?" while they're thinking "Man, you're such a sell-out. I don't understand why you're all sober all of a sudden." Ultimately, people make their own choices and come to those stages in their lives at their own rates.

Coming from the other side of things, I can tell you with some certainty that if you confront these people about their drug use, they literally won't hear you unless they're ready to. You certainly can mention it and it might even seep into their subconcious. They might even say stuff like, "Yeah, man. I know. It's tough and I've got a problem. I want to fix it." while they're still using because the mind of an addict is wired to think that using IS fixing the problem. It's how you make yourself feel better, isn't it? But ultimately, they'll notice, on some level, if you (and other friends of theirs) express a concern and then start to neglect them and their bad habits.

Everybody's got to take their own path, though. If you give this person their time and space, they might wind up coming out just fine, really. One of my absolute best buddies came through a battle with drugs (mostly meth) and we got sober around the same time. It took some effort (and an involvement in a 12 step program) but he's now one of the most upstanding, reliable, dependable, hard-working, and responsible people you could ever hope to meet in your life. He just had to come around to it.

 

Well a little bit of an update. I guess he couldn't talk yesterday cause he and his dad were putting in two more water heaters and he called me at 5 so we will talk today about it and see what is up. I hope he isnt avoiding me by hiding behind his work and his dad. Ill walk in the house there working at and punch his dad in the baby maker and tell him to leave so I can talk to his son, right Fiirkan?

 

i dont do any of that crap but i know a lot of people who do and its a lot harder to get people to quit than most people make it out to be. i agree with the fact that the only way to get him to stop is to get him locked up.

 

well wehn that reference is used, well by the people i know anyway, it is in reference to women that are disliked... for a man i suggest to punch him in the throat if you want to inflict damage... but if your justy trying to get a point accross then yeah i guess that could work lol

once again... good luck with your friend, i hope the best is the outcome and not the worst

 

You people are all wrong, a person will only stop doing something and I mean anything when they truely want to. I am not trying to be a downer on the whole thing but it is true, you simply can not help a person that is not willing to nor do they want to help themselves. Drugs are a way for people that are weak minded to blame something else for their problems or feel as if it is a solution. I have seen people go all to hell and back on drugs, hell I aint gonna lie I have went a bit off the deep end a couple times. In highschool I was so bad on pills, coke, and a steady diet of crown royal/shrooms/acid that I had to quit school, get my GED, and move clear across the country to Idaho to get away from ability to get such drugs. It took me a good 6 months to come down off all the **** I was on and I still to this day see "tracers" from all the acid I have done. In the end it took me not wanting to be on the stuff anymore, no cry's from my father, mother, freinds, or other family members did it.

 

its been almost a year since i've done anything and i still see tracers too.

 

Been around 5 years for me and I still see them