the whole right side of my car is seriously ****ed up. The right headlight is dimmer than the other. My right turn signal off and on doesn't work, what the hell is the problem can anyone give me an idea.

 

what year - the newer ones have lexan and they get cloudy - so headlight may be dimmed.
and you have an intermittant open (i would guess) - clean the connection at the turn signal bulb.

 

its a 1999 its obviously something electrical not something that could just be cleaned off. Sometimes when i floor it in like 2nd or 3rd gear the headlight returns to normal and then goes back to dim when i let of the gas. Sometimes the right turn signal works for a few flashes and then stops working. When the turn signal stops working it stays on in the taillights, not flashing, just on. WTF....WTF.

 

that's the way it's suppose to work (signals). something intermittent - i cannot tell. clean the contacts at the bulbs. reseat the fuse. could be the turn-signal flasher.

need to throughly clean the battery posts and cable connections (i use baking soda (just make sure that none gets into the battery)). check the alternator belt and make sure that it is tightened to specs.